she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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