She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It's Friday. Sex?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
