Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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