I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
