is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
