Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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