i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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