Already got asked if we're dating
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize