remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
