new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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