My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize