I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
