She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
