she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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