i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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