i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
