I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
