Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
