so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
