im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
