dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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