Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
