nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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