I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
