Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
