How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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