Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
