Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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