Kiss
Puke
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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