We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
