normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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