This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
what day is it and did you see me today?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
