Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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