what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Randomize
