pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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