Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
