Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
