I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
