sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
