When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize