I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
