Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Congratulations! We have a period
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
