we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
