How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
