im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
