you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
