You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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