the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
