goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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