Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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